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CHAPTER TITLES
1. Tie Goes to the Runner
2. Heir Conditioning
3. Transitions
4. First Daze
5. Field Trip
6. Strata
7. Foul Odors in Gilroy
8. Dolce
9. Jinx and Anti-jinx
10. Savings
11. ObMeta
12. Death by Butter
13. Public
14. ObCalm before the ObStorm
15. The Big Picture
16. Do I Smell French Yet?
Saturday, January 12
16,315 words. Almost two days behind schedule.
Posted at 3:42 PM
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Friday, January 11
Progress on my so-called beard:
Writerly? Wridiculous? Both?
In any case, it reflects the novel well: slow-going, blank in spots and ill-advised. In short -- and at only 15,111 words thus far, I do mean short -- rather pathetic.
Posted at 12:35 PM
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Thursday, January 10
14,865 words.
There is a limit to how far I'll let my plot careen for the sake of a good joke. There is, however, no limit to how far I'll go for a bad joke.
For instance, in Chapter 3, my two system administrators, Sam 1 and Sam 2, are discussing the company's recent exodus.
ãJack, he goes to Microsoft,ä Sam 2 said. ãBen, he goes to Garden.com. What about those two design freaks? Where are they going, my brother?ä
ãYou mean Sara 'Mother' Bell and her friend Michelle? Didnât they go to Inheritance.com?ä
ãThatâs right. Michelle, Ma Bell: These two weirdoes go to gather wills."
I've been planning that one for weeks.
Posted at 10:45 AM
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Wednesday, January 9
14,158 words. Almost back on schedule!
Posted at 11:36 PM
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12,949 words and rolling. Thank you, Carlo Rossi!
Posted at 10:12 PM
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I've decided to switch to the first person toward the end of Chapter 2 ("Heir Conditioning"), possibly midsentence. This is not a stunt, me trying to be "postmodern" or "neo-postmodern" or "neo-neo-postmodern." This is me trying to "salvage" my "novel."
Besides, the protagonist is merely a more capable, better dressed version of myself (hard to imagine, I know). This change should save me editing time whenever I lift wholesale from my journal.
Posted at 8:32 AM
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Tuesday, January 8
11,316 words. Exactly one day behind schedule.
But I have a few more characters, including Sara Finn, Michael Gabriel and Tony "Big Apple" Lyon. They're angel investors.
Posted at 5:11 PM
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Monday, January 7
Did I say knuckleballer? Knucklehead is more like it.
But you knew that.
Posted at 5:07 PM
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9,564 words. I've now introduced three characters.
The preparation-to-payoff ratio is getting out of control. I feel like a knuckleballer who feigns an elaborate windup, then throws a ball that coughs and wheezes its way toward home before flopping dead in the dirt 10 feet shy of the plate. I am literature's Charlie Hough.
Posted at 10:36 AM
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8,971 words. Still behind schedule but too tired to continue.
Must. Stop. Editing.
Must. Start. Drinking more.
Posted at 1:00 AM
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Sunday, January 6
Six days into January, somebody has finally asked whether I'm trying to grow a beard. (I'm 26, and it still takes me two weeks to hit five o'clock shadow.)
Not just any beard, I told her, but a ridiculous beard. And I'm not trying anything. As Yoda said: Be ridiculous, or do not be ridiculous. There is no try.
I am ridiculous!
Posted at 5:46 PM
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8,292 words. I'm now officially behind schedule. Measures are being taken: I stopped at the Jewel today and picked up 4 liters of Carlo Rossi. That should lubricate the creative juices for at least a week. Easy reading, as they say, is damn hard drinking.
In other news, Greg has been MeFi'd.
Posted at 2:38 PM
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